Life is full of decisions and most individuals take a lifetime to master the ability to make one. Don't get me wrong, each of us make decisions daily such as what clothes to wear, what to eat, and what to drink. I'm talking about life altering decisions that come from defining choices we make throughout our lifetimes. One person's decision that all of us know about and judge continuously is a not-to-be-mentioned pro football player that retired, un-retired, retired, and un-retired only to have a certain situation replay itself - OUCH!
We're all excellent at judging other peoples decisions just like we all like to talk about Mr. pro football's decisions. But what about our decisions? What about the decisions each of us make such as going to college, quitting college, quitting high school, quitting a job for another one, having kids, not having kids, getting married, getting divorced, etc. These are life defining moments that creates two different life long paths. None of which should be taken lightly.
Although we are all adept at judging others we ought to spend some time to get comfortable with ourselves to make decisions without the fear of judgement. Judgement comes from insecurities and there is no room in decision making for insecurities. Each insecurity that we have moves us further and further from making good decisions.
In order to control our insecurities we need to identify them and be comfortable with oneself. To accomplish that we all can use help. You may find it with a friend, a spouse, or find it on a bended knee with an open heart.
The best part about decision making is that there is no right or wrong answer. Decision are choices and choices are individual. Try to put some more effort into your own decisions and leave the judgement at the door. Besides only you would know if placed in the same situation whether or not to retire, un-retire, retire, and un-retire as the pro football player we all love to talk about did!
Until next time...
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
Conflicts and People
I'm not sure why this is, but conflict resolution is one of the most difficult things that people deal with on a daily basis. Why is it that when one person has a conflict they SEEK out others to bring into their negative abyss to discuss? When conflicts arise shouldn't there be acknowledgement from both parties that there's an issue? Similarly, shouldn't conflicts between two people remain with those two people to solve?
Unfortunately, we all tend to be on both sides of this issue at one point in our lives. How each of us deal with it is a personal choice. One thing we can all probably agree upon is that when two people have an issue with one another we don't need to SEEK out others for a group think session to prove who was right and who was wrong.
Recently, I was SOUGHT after, as well as several others, to listen to someone's negative vent session regarding an "issue" with another individual. The matter was a typical he said/she said moment, but the group think session was an interesting dynamic.
After we all assembled and listened intently to the concerns of the individual we waited for the severity of the matter to be disclosed. When the severity turned out to be nothing more than something as subjective as "I was disrespected" many of my listening peers went into "sounding board" mode. "Sounding board" mode is listening empathetically, nodding, minor interjections, with the goal of moving the conversation along to find a relaxed SEEKER that has just talked themselves out of the hostilities of the conflict.
There were others in the group that took a different approach. Some looked cold and statue-like almost as though they were on autopilot just breathing in and out. Yet, others became too engaged with listening and ultimately began arguing with the SEEKER as though the SEEKER was in a conflict with them. Voices raised as the topic turned from abstract arguments to pointed attacks with one of the rallied SEEKER's group. This left the SEEKER feeling worse and alienated the assembled group only to have two more individuals in a conflict!
Needless to say, group think conflict resolution is not a good method to handle issues. If you ever find yourself in a difficult situation with someone, there isn't anyone better to solve the issue with other than the person you have the conflict with in the first place.
Resolve it today and you'll have a better tomorrow!
Unfortunately, we all tend to be on both sides of this issue at one point in our lives. How each of us deal with it is a personal choice. One thing we can all probably agree upon is that when two people have an issue with one another we don't need to SEEK out others for a group think session to prove who was right and who was wrong.
Recently, I was SOUGHT after, as well as several others, to listen to someone's negative vent session regarding an "issue" with another individual. The matter was a typical he said/she said moment, but the group think session was an interesting dynamic.
After we all assembled and listened intently to the concerns of the individual we waited for the severity of the matter to be disclosed. When the severity turned out to be nothing more than something as subjective as "I was disrespected" many of my listening peers went into "sounding board" mode. "Sounding board" mode is listening empathetically, nodding, minor interjections, with the goal of moving the conversation along to find a relaxed SEEKER that has just talked themselves out of the hostilities of the conflict.
There were others in the group that took a different approach. Some looked cold and statue-like almost as though they were on autopilot just breathing in and out. Yet, others became too engaged with listening and ultimately began arguing with the SEEKER as though the SEEKER was in a conflict with them. Voices raised as the topic turned from abstract arguments to pointed attacks with one of the rallied SEEKER's group. This left the SEEKER feeling worse and alienated the assembled group only to have two more individuals in a conflict!
Needless to say, group think conflict resolution is not a good method to handle issues. If you ever find yourself in a difficult situation with someone, there isn't anyone better to solve the issue with other than the person you have the conflict with in the first place.
Resolve it today and you'll have a better tomorrow!
Monday, January 11, 2010
Thankful
Have you ever thought that your life isn't heading in the direction that you want it to? Are you so wrapped up with your "life" that you're not living but merely existing? What a thought. I used to think that I was living with a "comfortable" job that provided enough. However, I now realized that the comfortable job was holding me back and keeping me from utilizing my potential and from living!
Why is it that most of us reach a point in our lives where we stop living and begin accepting life? Granted there are plenty of people in this world that are constantly living and hardly ever accept life as it is in the present. These people are constantly finding a new direction, new goal, and a new set of circumstances to live.
Although each of us have plenty to be thankful for we often settle and allow life to control us versus taking the reins to begin living, even if it means living in the unknown, outside of your comfort zone. I read a book recently from an author Paul Coelho titled "The Alchemist". It's not a very long book, but has a great message that encourages people to begin living. He calls it "finding your personal legend".
I suggest each one of us begin living or find your personal legend. Don't settle and never stop living!
Until next time...
Why is it that most of us reach a point in our lives where we stop living and begin accepting life? Granted there are plenty of people in this world that are constantly living and hardly ever accept life as it is in the present. These people are constantly finding a new direction, new goal, and a new set of circumstances to live.
Although each of us have plenty to be thankful for we often settle and allow life to control us versus taking the reins to begin living, even if it means living in the unknown, outside of your comfort zone. I read a book recently from an author Paul Coelho titled "The Alchemist". It's not a very long book, but has a great message that encourages people to begin living. He calls it "finding your personal legend".
I suggest each one of us begin living or find your personal legend. Don't settle and never stop living!
Until next time...
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
The Past is NOT the Future
Hi all,
Now that we're a few days into 2010 it is time to reflect on 2009...what am I saying. 2009 was a horrible year! Why would anyone want to reflect on the events that occurred last year? Alright that might be a little harsh since someone watched their first child being born, a child walked for the first time, someone watched a child graduate High School or college, some people were promoted to a new position (at least one person...somewhere...maybe?), and over 15 million people received a new lease on life being laid off.
Being laid off is more of a gift than a slap in the face. It opens so many doors that were closed before that people who were laid off are free to be who they were destined to be. They can change careers, rebalance their work and family life, and ultimately learn that life isn't about working for that next vacation to live.
Although earning a living is important. How we earn that living is the most important and that is what each of us need to reflect upon. Were we able to spend time with things that are important such as family, friends, hobby, or just time with yourself?
I suggest you take time to figure out where you have been and where you want to go. Another year past and that is one less we have to walk, talk, and leave our mark!
Until next time...
Now that we're a few days into 2010 it is time to reflect on 2009...what am I saying. 2009 was a horrible year! Why would anyone want to reflect on the events that occurred last year? Alright that might be a little harsh since someone watched their first child being born, a child walked for the first time, someone watched a child graduate High School or college, some people were promoted to a new position (at least one person...somewhere...maybe?), and over 15 million people received a new lease on life being laid off.
Being laid off is more of a gift than a slap in the face. It opens so many doors that were closed before that people who were laid off are free to be who they were destined to be. They can change careers, rebalance their work and family life, and ultimately learn that life isn't about working for that next vacation to live.
Although earning a living is important. How we earn that living is the most important and that is what each of us need to reflect upon. Were we able to spend time with things that are important such as family, friends, hobby, or just time with yourself?
I suggest you take time to figure out where you have been and where you want to go. Another year past and that is one less we have to walk, talk, and leave our mark!
Until next time...
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