Conflicts and People

I'm not sure why this is, but conflict resolution is one of the most difficult things that people deal with on a daily basis. Why is it that when one person has a conflict they SEEK out others to bring into their negative abyss to discuss? When conflicts arise shouldn't there be acknowledgement from both parties that there's an issue? Similarly, shouldn't conflicts between two people remain with those two people to solve?

Unfortunately, we all tend to be on both sides of this issue at one point in our lives. How each of us deal with it is a personal choice. One thing we can all probably agree upon is that when two people have an issue with one another we don't need to SEEK out others for a group think session to prove who was right and who was wrong.

Recently, I was SOUGHT after, as well as several others, to listen to someone's negative vent session regarding an "issue" with another individual. The matter was a typical he said/she said moment, but the group think session was an interesting dynamic.

After we all assembled and listened intently to the concerns of the individual we waited for the severity of the matter to be disclosed. When the severity turned out to be nothing more than something as subjective as "I was disrespected" many of my listening peers went into "sounding board" mode. "Sounding board" mode is listening empathetically, nodding, minor interjections, with the goal of moving the conversation along to find a relaxed SEEKER that has just talked themselves out of the hostilities of the conflict.

There were others in the group that took a different approach. Some looked cold and statue-like almost as though they were on autopilot just breathing in and out. Yet, others became too engaged with listening and ultimately began arguing with the SEEKER as though the SEEKER was in a conflict with them. Voices raised as the topic turned from abstract arguments to pointed attacks with one of the rallied SEEKER's group. This left the SEEKER feeling worse and alienated the assembled group only to have two more individuals in a conflict!

Needless to say, group think conflict resolution is not a good method to handle issues. If you ever find yourself in a difficult situation with someone, there isn't anyone better to solve the issue with other than the person you have the conflict with in the first place.

Resolve it today and you'll have a better tomorrow!